Every day, I think “wow, I have so much to say!” I sit in my head and plan it out. I decide whether I’ll be artistic or logical and whether I’ll be stoic or not. Will this read as a diary entry? Maybe a magazine article? Or perhaps it’ll come out just like my fave fiction book…. pages upon pages filled with utter bullshit. It sounds great in my head, I am telling STORIES, tell you hwhat. Once I get here though, when it comes time to “put the pen to paper,” it comes out all wrong and I’m far from impressed with myself. This is why I require myself to write something, ANYTHING every few days. I know much of my distraction is caused by not setting aside time for myself to write. Even as I’m writing this post, I’ve got the TV on, my youngest son playing puppies on the couch, and my agents at work messaging me on Teams with real-time questions.

I want to spend time romanticizing my life. I have lived enough lifetimes for several people, and I’ve never considered sharing my stories. It definitely opens me up to judgment. I grew up in the age of learning that the internet is forever and being warned nonstop that anything you say online can and will be used against you at some point. There are stories I think of telling and then start considering the implications and have to remind myself that not every story is for everyone.

I’m a mom, a wife, an employee, a manager, a friend, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a writer, a dreamer, a blogger, and a little bit of a mess. The world is so complex, people are so layered, and everyone is living their very own experience, their own version of the same shared reality. Isn’t that… alarming?

There are days when everything just…. shines. You wake up, the smell of freshly brewed coffee permeates the air, the sun is gently peeking through your window, you might even hear some birds chirping outside. It’s so perfect and still that you can see the dust silently float through the air, crossing the sunlit path from the window to your floor. Everything feels warm, cozy, and safe.

Then there are all the rest of the days, where you wake up and it’s cold and dark. No playful sun, no heavenly breakfast smells, just…. a day ahead of you to get through.

Happy Monday.